A diary entry

When I started this entry, I was sitting at my desk, in my almost empty office at home.
Everything had been packed into boxes ready to be moved to wherever the next stop would be.
Sitting in that room that had been my tiny sanctuary, my calm place, and that had always felt like a hug when walking in, now all stripped bare and cold, stung my heart.

In April this year, my then-partner of almost 6 years and I decided to end our relationship. Often when people talk about break-ups, you hear the question 'What happened??'. I never know what to say. Nothing major happened. We realized we were both incredibly unhappy and whilst for a while we comforted each other, we realized that we were the source of it.
Still loving and caring for each other but deciding that there is no future together was one of the hardest things I've done in my life so far.
I am deeply grateful for the amount of compassion and support with which we were able to move away from the life together we had dreamed of.
If you read this: thank you for all the crazy adventures, for always believing in me, for showing me your side of the world and everything else.
I love you <3

I came to Australia six years ago. I stayed for this man. I moved here for him. Now all of a sudden this wide land has opened up and is showing me so many different opportunities.
Now, three months after I started this blog entry, I am sitting in my first own home. Still renting, but a place entirely for myself.
Growing up in a cozy 30 sqm flat with my mum, sharing a bedroom, and now, 32 years old, having a whole house to myself feels like a wild dream.
Everything has changed.

Since May, I have moved to a friend and lived in her gorgeous basement. I then tried my luck with a Facebook post, asking for the almost impossible: a budget-friendly place to live, close to town, that would allow me to have my dog inside, ideally furnished since I don't have much.

Way before that, I had daydreamed about what I'd have in my future place.
Things on top of the list were: a nice little Nespresso coffee machine, a comfortable office corner, a space for my bookshelf and a little thingy in the bathroom where you can hang your toothbrush (I had one aaaages ago and missed it in the recent years.)

Within hours I had someone on Facebook contact me. They had something available and would be happy to meet and discuss.
I couldn't believe my luck! And that was even before I saw the house.
It ticked every. single. box.
From the coffee machine to the office space, to the bookshelf, furniture, toothbrush holder, and more!
The universe even added some extras like sunset views, forest all around me, a veggie garden that I have full access to, and a landlord that has been so incredibly helpful with looking after my dog Sousa when I'm at work.

I have also started a new job. I've been working in retail since 2020 and now moved on to working as an early childhood educator!
If you know me, you probably know that I've always loved children. I've worked as a babysitter and briefly as an aupair.
I remember after high school I thought about becoming a kindergarten teacher. But I was told it's a hard industry without much pay, so I pursued my other interest (animals). And oh boy, they were not wrong!
I don't know yet if I will stay in the childcare industry but it is a fascinating experience. It brings me so much joy to work with those young children every day, and in a way, I think it is exactly what I need right now.

So now I am working full time and studying at home to get my certification.
Through this work, I have also found a certification course in conservation and ecosystem management.
Something I've always been passionate about and never realized how excited I actually get when talking about it (for example flora and fauna identification). My idol growing up was Dian Fossey. The crazy, smart, passionate woman who lived with and fought for the mountain gorillas.
Observing, recording, and analyzing animal behavior has always fascinated me and is oddly satisfying. Now I am suddenly one major step closer to this childhood dream!

My days are filled with forest walks with Sousa to destress, sitting at the laptop and going through my course units, and being at work.
Yes, I miss social life. Most of my friends here have families and young children.
But I am also content to finally have time to read, work through what happened, and spend more time getting to know myself again.
It is still Winter here but Spring is coming, days are getting longer and I feel the next twelve months will be an exciting new adventure.

I'm telling you all this because sometimes I can still hardly believe how things turned out.
I am talking about all the details because I want you to know that everything is indeed possible.

I imagine myself looking back to this blog post in ten years.
I wonder what the road in between now and then will look like.